


The End Of The Drive, The Lawmen Arrive

by CentreBullet



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Age of Ultron, Canon Compliant, I have not done my fashion research, Linking scene, M/M, Pre-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Science Bros, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark professional dandy, extremely soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:15:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24762190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CentreBullet/pseuds/CentreBullet
Summary: Are those really Tony’s clothes?
Relationships: Bruce Banner & Tony Stark, Bruce Banner/Tony Stark
Kudos: 27





	The End Of The Drive, The Lawmen Arrive

One of Bruce's best qualities was his modesty. It was also one of his most annoying 

Tony totally got that Bruce's...condition made spending money on half-decent clothes seem like a waste of time. And sure, if you were used to living underground & keeping a low profile, you didn't need to draw attention. But just because you *were* dressing out of Goodwill didn't mean you had to look like you were dressing out of Goodwill. 

Bruce didn't need to be hiding his light under any bushel now he had friends. One friend in particular, well known for his personal style. One friend who'd considered it a bad year when GQ only did three features on his current favoured designers. And Avenging made for a lot of short-notice press conferences. It would be positively cruel not to help Bruce out.

But how to help? Bruce could be proud to the point of prickliness and didn't like the burden of gifts, which was frustrating as hell for anyone keen to be his benefactor. Tony loved having a problem as easy to solve as buying things, which was scarcely a problem at all, but this wasn't about money. The Hulk's infinite stretch shorts, now that had been a simple matter of polymers. 15-year-old Tony could have cracked it in a weekend. But getting Dr. Banner to look presentable on demand was a matter of social niceties, something Tony would no doubt still be struggling with at 80, assuming he made it that far.

There was no point getting something beautiful made up for Bruce, he'd be far too flustered and secretly offended. No, the trick was to make it look casual. 

So, they're all scrambling to their lockers on the quinjet, dusty and battered but kinda high off the fumes of victory, right? Cap'd be grinning at that leather jacket he loved so much, pulling out some dad-jeans-plaid-eyesore. Natasha, who knew? She tended to go for unremarkable civvies, but she did at least have hella style. Clint? Same as his work wear, that guy was a lost cause. Bruce would be muttering, exasperated...

"What up Strongest Avenger, you lost something?" Casual, casual.

"These. These aren't my clothes."

Look over. Casual.

"Dammit. Sorry man, I automated servicing on the jets, I meant to check the package recognition was working properly again after that turtle/rifle SNAFU. Jarvis, can we get right on that, like, yesterday?"

"These look more like your clothes."

"I can pick up spares easy, chief. They'd fit you fine...

No, no, record-scratch. Too polite. Too suspicious. Try again.

"I was throwing them out anyway. Too fall-of-'13. Your lucky day. Keep 'em."

"You're throwing out a jacket because it's missing a button? C'mon Tony..." A pitying headshake would follow.

"I know, I'm incorrigible, for an encore I’ll set fire to an oilrig. We're on the clock people, let's go."

In the fantasy, Bruce spends the rest of the afternoon in a good mood and preens a little at a mirror or something. Anyway, he looks good and he likes it, ok? Of course he looks good. Tony knows all about complexion and complementary tones, just like he knows mixing the perfect dirty martini and how to disable a speed camera in under 10 seconds. All those "Renaissance Man" profiles weren't for nothing.

Buoyed up by his insight, Tony starts skimming through his own rails right away. Bruce would want something dark but not black, maybe charcoal or brown, not too showy. Tweedy or textured, perhaps. A casual cut. Single-breasted, no question. He was probably a relaxed fit kinda guy. Definitely the more generously cut trousers were the thing, which slimmed down the options a little, ha ha. Bruce would not be wanting to show his ass off. A mistake, but it would be fine for the casual look. 

The Dries Van Noten? Perfect. That was the problem, it looked too perfect. Tony winced a little snipping off the cuff button, and tweaking a few threads out of the shoulder seam was like yanking out eyelashes. For good measure, he tossed it on the floor and stamped on it a couple of times - not too rough. NOW it was perfectly imperfect, just ready to be crumpled into a locker for however long.

Bruce really wasn't a tie-lover, and his regular button-downs were some JC Penney nightmare. No. A t-shirt. Not some math joke either, something which would make him look like less of the dork he actually was. And not adorkable, spare us all. So, thinking back...

"Tony, do you always have music on while you work?"

"Sure do, helps me think. You want me to turn it off?"

A pause.

"No, it's fine. I like this one, I think."

Of course. He lifted her off her hanger.

"Hey baby" Tony couldn't help crooning at Rio a little "we've had some good times, huh? I'm gonna miss you but trust me, you're going to a better home. You deserve a guy who'll really appreciate you."

A pair of navy silk socks (no better time for Bruce to experience the real thing) and the whole thing was ready to roll. He shoved his unwrapped secret gift in an old duffel bag branded 'IREC, Bonn '04' and handed it over to Dum-E for loading. 

Job done, Tony decided to call it a day rather than swing by the lab one last time. He felt genuinely pleased with himself. Bruce was a good guy and he deserved a secret makeover. Philanthropy began at home, after all. And he wasn't going to be late to the party

**Author's Note:**

> Written a few days after ‘Ragnarok’ came out but only posted now because I’m slack and also I needed time to recover from all the pain. There’s a backlog.


End file.
